I turned 31 this weekend

But also, it probably felt longer at the MC bc we actually posted on there & this place has been mostly dead for years

I miss you, & I wish the Slack hadn't died so we could still interact. I've been working on Self-Improvement & I think I've managed to become a more pleasant & less awful person as a result, finally, after all these years of being The Worst. I hope you're all doing well & got all the Santa prizes you desired. I hope your 2018 is better than your 2017.

This time last year I was getting blackout drunk every weekend with my boring alcoholic boyfriend and then not knowing how I ended up with injuries the next day. It was not good for me. But he ghosted me after six months. I have a much better boyfriend now and we don't drink. It's good because my tolerance for alcohol is such that I don't really get the good kind of drunk anymore I just slide right into blacking out, so it's not much fun.

Shadow didn't deserve one

So last month I had a disturbing incident. Woke up on the carpeted floor outside my bathroom, gasping for air, broken glasses, covered in bruises and cuts, with a bump on my nose and a cut on my face and the palms of my hands. No idea how long I was unconscious or what happened. My tongue was bitten all to hell.

Everybody on earth told me it was probably a seizure and I need to go to the ER.

So I went the next day and they told me to follow up with a neurologist, who put me on seizure restrictions (I'm not allowed to drive cars or shower when nobody is home), and ordered a couple of tests to find out if I'm epileptic, or have a tumor, or if it's just because of the meds I was on until recently.

Last week I had an EEG, which is this horrible test where they stick electrodes all over your head and torture you to see what happens. It came up abnormal, though I have no idea what the implications of those results are.

And today is fancy magnet pictures time, and I get to be shoved through a tube and forced to lie still for at least an hour. I'm not looking forward to it!!

Have any of y'all ever gotten an MRI of your brain, or had a seizure before?

I uh....have a somewhat secret Twitter identity that I don't want to straight up reveal but I might add some of y'all because I miss you

Are you a lady though?

I wish message boards were still a thing because my mom and my boss are on all the social media so I can't really talk about my weiner as much as I'd like to.

Keith Stack you can always talk to me about your weiner, you got my numbah

I finally moved past dating Sonic Eats Rings members and have a boyfriend who doesn't know any of you people. It's great.

Try OKCupid.

If I was dating a guy and discovered he collected these dolls, I would break up with him.

I dated Fadflamer and his collection of half-naked anime girl figurines, and they never bothered me. At least they're sort of cute. But these things are ugly and dumb.

Yaj you told me I was the most beautiful dirigible you ever met how could you do this to me

Nevah

Maybe we all started as bots, becoming more and more coherent until we learned to hate ourselves and stopped posting.