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Messages - Jessica HawlSera

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General Rotors / Sonic Forces himself on a Hooters Girl in Japan
« on: October 23, 2017, 12:54:59 AM »
Game comes out in like two weeks, do you think it's gonna suck, also what furry are you rolling? I'm gonna be a cat

i knew about puyo puyo , but forgot. i guess mean bean machine was a spin off, and then kirby's avalanche ripped off both of them. actually i might have the time line wrong on this, but i always loved those games. never understood tetris, but colors made things much easier. the strategy i used was setting up a bunch of three's, and then finding a couple jiveys with one color matching one three, and another matching the other three. but that never really worked. you didn't want to over think things with that game.

but yeah, i was joking about one of those THINGS having a series of their own, like a side scroller. it didn't really make sense though. 

Kirby's Avalanche was a Kirby Themed Puyo Pop game from a time before Sega owned the Puyo Puyo franchise, Nintendo has the rights to re-release it anytime they want, but not to make a sequel or anything like that.... unless Sega said it was cool.

Shadow didn't deserve one

Amen sister

Personally I'd like to see an Amy Rose spinoff, but... I don't think GIRL POWER spinoffs of popular franchises will happen given how panned Super Princess Peach was

I question if I was banned or kicked out of places due to paranoia based issues.

damn..i mean beans. it hit me on a long car ride that i said what i said, and I AM DEEPLY..DEEPLY REGRETFUL FOR MY ACTIONS. ppup.

So... Puyo Puyo then?

General Rotors / Re: We need to get a bunch of cocks and suck them
« on: November 18, 2016, 11:38:59 AM »
i love you, you magical tigress princess. 

*holds Yaj close* Let's elope together

General Rotors / Dongald Trump's Big Ass Wall
« on: November 18, 2016, 11:37:47 AM »
I just want everyone to know that regardless of what happens, I can't bring myself to hate any of you.

General Rotors / Re: We need to get a bunch of cocks and suck them
« on: July 23, 2016, 10:33:03 PM »
Went to the slack channel, everyone there was an asshole who kept comparing me to Donald Trump because I've published three books......

I don't understand you people and your hatred of me.

General Rotors / Re: Sonic Mania
« on: July 23, 2016, 10:26:34 PM »
Chill Hawl, we got Sonic Resistance coming too.

A GooglePlay port of this would be nice for those of us who don't have Next-Gen consoles..

Admittedly when I first saw the trailer, I didn't realize that was the case... I legitimately thought this was the "Big Sonic Game!"

As a pseudo-sequel to Sonic CD and a spinoff, it's fine and I look forward to playing as Knuckles (I wish Green Hill Zone wasn't in it, I'm tired of seeing it and its look alikes)

I mean it's a better Sonic 4 than "Let's Remake Sonic 1 but make it look like a shitty version of Sonic Rush!"

Sonic Resistance looks pretty damn legitimate, and I look forward to seeing if the rumors that it's supposed to be a Comic Tie In (Since it isn't a Generations sequel apparently) are true or wishful thinking. (The "Join The Resistance" tagline combined with how much some people claim the enemies in the trailer look like giant swat bots)

Getting back to Mania, I'm dissapointed that it doesn't have a fourth playable character (A Genesis/Sega CD Sprite of Amy or Blaze would be awesome to see)

but I'm glad we have character options other than Sonic.

General Rotors / Re: The 25th Anniversary Party is soon upon us..
« on: July 23, 2016, 12:03:35 AM »
Best possible outcome:

A real Sonic game. It's been 22 years!

Still, they need to get Yasuhara involved again.

.....A Sonic 3 Rom Hack.....


Happy 26th Anniversary Sonic

General Rotors / Sonic Mania
« on: July 22, 2016, 11:47:17 PM »

This is... pathetic... I am legitimately impressed that it's not another "Sonic Only!" outting (getting really sick of that) but my God.... Sega's basically just given up and admitted they have no idea what they're doing. The game looks good, but it's basically a Sonic 3 Rom Hack, of course it looks good. I've got a whole folder of gems like that.

I can imagine that the conversation went down like this.

Executive: Okay we don't actually have the budget for a new Sonic game, any ideas?"

Producer: Wait! I've got it, isn't the new intern making a Sonic 3 Mod or something.. just release that."

Intern: Oh shit? Does this mean I'm getting a promotion?

Executive: No, I'm taking full credit for this, but we'll put your name in the special thanks...

Intern: It's something!

Producer: So, Sonic, Tails, Knuckles.... should we add some other characters to this so we don't look cheap, like Shadow, Metal Sonic, Sticks, or Blaze

Executive: Naw, that would involve effort

Producer: Okay, but Amy's basically part of the crew now and hasn't been a Damsel or anything for a long time... we're at least...

Executive: *Shakes head*

Intern: Sonic's 25th Anniversary!

Executive: Coming in the 26th Year! It's brilliant, they'll never see it coming!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA this game is a fucking joke.

All they need to do, was have Sonic be in Mobius/Sonic's World/Planet Freedom... WHATEVER THE FUCK you want to call it and have the game in 3D

Sonic Generations and Colors accomplished this and we love them

As opposed to

"Include Green Hill Zone, but call it something different"
(Heroes/Lost World)

"Real World, No Matter How Awkward It Feels!"

"But didn't they do that for Boom"

No Boom was a very generic cartoon world that feels far more Looney Tunes without a Soul than anything Sonic related.

General Rotors / Mighty No. 9 is a fraud
« on: June 21, 2016, 10:14:46 PM »
Taken from my blog -

Oh shit, where the fuck do I begin? First off, I'm not a Mega Man fan but if this little piece of blatant copyright infringement from Infanue himself was my first exposure to the Blue Bomber and any related materials I would think people who are Mega Man fans should be spayed and neutered to prevent such horrible people from breeding.

The idea of Mighty No. 9 is to be the Mega Man reboot that Capcom refuses to make because of their highly immature call to basically cockslap the boy in blue because they're butthurt about Infanue leaving the company over a series of really bad calls that caused Capcom to put itself in the shitter. (btw, I'm not a Mega Man fan, but I am a Mega Man Legends fan. Still mad about 3)

As far as reboots go SJW Ghostbusters, Sonic Boom, DmC Devil May Cry, Michael Bay Transformers, and the New Saban Era of Power Rangers get a 10 out of 10 when compared to this shit.

First off, the problem is in marketing. This game is marketed towards adults, specifically fans of Mega Man who want another game in the series. So the fact that this is an overly kiddy game, with a very simple plot, and characters speaking in very friendly cartoonish voices uses as small of words as possible, but worst of all. Characters who feel the need to continuously speak saying the same catchphrases and bad jokes over and over again as though its scared that if it isn't doing so I'm going to get bored.

Are these lines unskippable, interrupt gameplay, unfunny, constantly repeating every single time you die, and placed right at the places where you'd die the most? You bet your sweet hairy musky delicious rim-job worthy ass they are! Oh and even in the cutscenes the characters do not move their lips.

The original Mega Man isn't really a series known for its edge (Though X was quite the tonal shift while Battle Network and Legends had their moments), but the way the game is written it doesn't feel like a throwback to the "good ol' days", it feels more like I need something bright and colorful to get a five year old kid to distract himself so I can get laid in the next room over without him bothering me about wanting to watch Veggietales or some shit.

The gameplay doesn't make this any easier, the game is both too easy and too hard, simultaneously. When fighting a boss, I don't even have to try, I can just take damage as though every bullet my face catches credits five dollars to my account. Fuck matching weaknesses up to other weaknesses, fuck memorizing the patterns of the Mighty Numbers, screw those "GOD DAMN IT! ELECMAN!" moments. Just press X the enemy is dead. The rest of the game isn't that hard either, pits are no problem, the dashing ability is infinite I can dash in mid-air as often as I want. Enemies are a joke, I just shoot them a few times and I can absorb them as power-ups which would be cool if the platforming wasn't broken.

The only times I die are in certain places where I can tell the game was not even remotely play-tested because the dash will often be the ONLY way to even BEGIN to reach platforms. This is only a problem because you'll almost reach the platform, you can tilt forward and undershoot it or dash again and overshoot it. I've lost the most lives to these segments and honestly only got past them out of luck. I didn't (nor did I see anyway to be able to) do anything different, sometimes it worked most of the time it didn't.

I only played two stages Avi's and Brand's. Brand's was infinitely more playable because he doesn't talk as much and you don't have wind constantly blowing in your face making broken platforming controls even less functional.

The dashing gets worse, enemies don't drop power-ups instead they glow. When they glow you can dash into them and absorb them for a temporary boost to attack, speed, or defense or for some reserve energy. This was cool at first except I started to realize that a lot of enemies are placed in ways where they can't be absorbed without killing you, which was really annoying on Brand's stage because I kept finding myself trying to absorb the health enemies only to die seconds later to a pitfall.

I cannot give this game props on any level, the voice acting is bad, the controls are bad, the character design is so similar to Mega Man's I'm surprised Capcom didn't sue for not filing the serial numbers off well enough.  The graphics are REALLY ugly

Oh one final note, on the first day of the game's release there's a dlc called "Roy Expansion", a story mode involving the character Roy and some stages for Beck (the titular Mighty No. 9) where you can fight Roy. These stages have lore that is canon to the overall story. So pieces of the story mode chopped out for day 1 DLC... I could cut it some slack if it was like an alternate costume or if you were just downloading the game's soundtrack like with Binding Of Isaac or Half-Life 2... but no.. the game cannot be beaten without the DLC to add the missing stages. KISS MY ASS! I didn't buy the Roy DLC, but I've heard the stages in it are far more playable and feel complete.

The graphics suck too, it looks really choppy and is very hard on the eyes when it's moving. In still pictures it doesn't look bad, so it's mostly the animation.

Here's hoping Red Ash doesn't suck.

The silver lining is that there IS a good Mega Man Clone on Steam for those who miss the Blue Bomber. Skip Mighty No. 9 and get 20XX instead. Hell 20XX even supports mods.

Oh need I remind you this abortion of a game had a 4,000,000 Dollar budget and a team of Industry Insiders behind it.... and fellas I gotta say. Mega Man has never slept more peacefully, Rock is GLAD that he's dead if this is what life would have had in store for him had he not died.

For reference Undertale was made by ONE GUY and had a Kickstarter for 40,000 dollars and actually IS a faithful "The Mother 4 You'll Never Get"

Hell Five Nights At Freddy's is now its own Merchandising Empire with a live action movie and a novel series (like Mighty No. 9 tried to get but failed).... and the first game in the series had a budget of 0 dollars from a failed Kickstarter plus the fact that it was made as a joke against his critics and not a serious attempt to make a horror game.

So I guess this proves that Big Names + Big Bucks do not always equal a Big Game.

If you're a Mega Man fan, skip it for your sanity you don't need this stress in your life, if you're like me and you're not super into Mega Man but play the games once in awhile.. get 20XX and Mega Man Legacy Collection, both on Steam COMPLETE WITH NO DAY 1 DLC DRAMA!

There are some other things I disliked (It feels weird not having a charge shot, I hated that about Mega Man 9 and 10), but... this... This sums up every reason I hated this smelly disgusting pile of dog shit. I think I'd rather get raped in an dark allyway than play this.

General Rotors / Re: Wait a second.
« on: May 10, 2016, 11:44:37 PM »
Andrusi, YOU are the new girl

General Rotors / Re: Let's start some drama
« on: May 10, 2016, 11:44:09 PM »
I'm here to offer a controversial opinion about  recent goings-on involving Religion and Politics.

Just kidding it's 2016, no one cares anymore

There was a time when the world was under our control, that time is neigh, now we're just along for the ride.

General Rotors / We need to get a bunch of cocks and suck them
« on: May 10, 2016, 11:40:46 PM »
...Seriously, no one's ever here or fun anymore. I miss the good old days where I literally couldn't post a fucking screenshot from "Nightmare Before Christmas Oogie's Revenge" with a stupid little comment without everyone complaining that I've gone too far, when literally everyone else was doing things even more random.

....Because of that I was always able to sympathize with Obama...

General Rotors / Re: Seriously? No one else is gonna say it?
« on: May 10, 2016, 11:38:45 PM »
If you use the Simple Launcher the emulation is completely glitch free....

*rips own spine out and dies*

*becomes a ghost*

But you can't use mods....

I'm getting stupid slowdown in the main room, but that's the only way I can use mods, and don't even t ell me it's my PC. I can run Sonic Generations and Lost World.... but I can't run Sonic 2 while loading a basic 3D Room made in the same program used to make Slender:The Arrival?

General Rotors / Re: On the next episode of Dragon Ball Z
« on: May 10, 2016, 11:35:12 PM »
yeah, that's Gotenks. and Kami..ohh Kami. Mr. Popo is needed so he can hit your g spot.

I meant in the front, I'm not sure if that's Goku or Mystic Gohan due to the blurriness of the photograph

General Rotors / Re: I just found a small piece of history.
« on: April 30, 2016, 05:06:29 AM »

General Rotors / Re: I am the new girl
« on: April 29, 2016, 05:30:10 AM »
There are no girls on the Internet. Especially here.
That is correct Squish. Neither of us exist.

Remember that time everyone hated me for no reason and then I made an alternate name called "Shave" and absolutely no one could tell it was me? Except Kulock.. he was in on it.

General Rotors / Re: Ridedpet Adventures
« on: April 29, 2016, 05:28:16 AM »
Badly Translated Pokémon Rom

General Rotors / Re: On the next episode of Dragon Ball Z
« on: April 29, 2016, 05:26:26 AM »
So glad Gohan is there to help out Goku, Goku, Vegeta, and Gotenks... or is that Goku?

Also pffft where you been homie, DBZ...  naww that's so 1998. It's all about Blue Haired Super Saiyans fighting Furries obsessed with Japanese Food.

General Rotors / Seriously? No one else is gonna say it?
« on: April 29, 2016, 05:24:49 AM »
Sega now has LEGAL ROM HACKS on Steam, eyup, you can now get Sonic Rom Hacks off of Steam and play them in an official Sega Emulator. It runs like shit though, it lags and both Fatal Labyrnth and Eternal Champions magically vanish when you try to play them. Sega has took note and will patch it soon.

If you have ever dreamed of being able to play as Bunnie Rabbot in an official Sonic game this is as close as we're gonna get.... *looks to Kulock*

General Rotors / Re: So let's ask the tough question here:
« on: April 19, 2016, 11:06:02 PM »
It's likely Antoine exaggerates his accent to seem more unique.

In a series I write for FreeRIDErs, a character named Simone-Lucille is raised in France on Earth... in a future where Multi-Culturalism has reached an extreme where Earthers no longer have any tells as to where they are from.. Especially since it's very easy to learn multiple languages due to futuristic nanites and the ability to download memories... but still speaks in an exaggerated French accent and says various words in Francais instead of English out of a sense of national pride.

Simone-Lucille now lives on Planet Zharus despite this mostly because Earth has become an unlivable dystopia, the Earth Government now has a population crisis due to how many people keep leaving and is starting war with other planets to surrender a portion of their population to become citizens of Earth or face the fury of planet destroying WMDs.

Earth's Government is the most blatantly corrupt in the Galaxy.

General Rotors / Re: I am the new girl
« on: April 19, 2016, 10:21:02 PM »
I am a girl as well

General Rotors / Ridedpet Adventures
« on: April 17, 2016, 03:10:56 PM »
It's a stupid youtube thing I started

Thought I'd try and g et some subscribers.

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