Neo's post doesn't do much to tell you about the game so I'll give you guys a crash course on some of the classes
Lets start with my favorite class
Magus: The game is called Warhammer not Lazyhammer!
Named after the legendary badass from Chrono Trigger
The Magus is devoted to doing as little as possible and makes his minions do most the work for him. most his damage is done through curses that deal damage over time but he also has some debuffs that are nice.
Pink Horror AKA Ozzie
Ozzie is a long range attacker who sits around and attacks from long distances with his demonic powers
Flamer AKA Flea
A demon with no taste for women who can hurl explosive flames at mid range distances.
Blue Horror AKA Slash
deals crippling close range attacks sure to kill anyone who is nearby
Floating Disc AKA Floating Disc
Your floating disc you ride on forever due to your devotion to not doing any work at all you have created a disc to ride so you never even have to move your legs but thanks to the disc you have become a bad role model ALL YOUR PETS HAVE LEGS (EXCEPT FLEA WHO FLOATS.) BUT CANNOT MOVE PERHAPS OUT OF PROTEST.
at level 20 everyone can buy a mount but the mount for magus is unique! it is a horse like everyone else but it also rides a disc! but the disc is larger and faster. the reason is the man who sells the deluxe disc refuses to sell it to Maguss because they are lazy and dont use it properly but once you purcahse a horse he will give it to you since the main purpose of a delux disc is for transporting livestock.
PRO HINT: You may find that other players ignore your minions and strike at you instead! This is because your pets are imaginary just like the benefit you give to the team.
Sorcereress: What if Gandalf was a naked elf woman?
Sorcereress hurls damaging projectiles but each time she does so she is reminded me of the atrocities commited by mankind and becomes more self destructive and may cut herself for 15% of her max health points. She has a skill that will remind her of happier things cuasing mild damage to a foe but makes you think of the happier times such as your childhood pet or when 56k was free as long as you could put up with a banner ad. you deal INSANE damage capable of taking off half a foes health or more in a single blow when rolling at maximum depression but you will frequently die by your own blade since the higher your depression the greater the chance you may harm yourself! at max depression you have a 50% chance to critical hit and deal like way more damage from criticals and a 50% chance to cut yourself for 15% of your max health!! if a foe has you about to die it may be best to spam a spell and seppuku so as to deprive him of any satisfaction in life.
PRO HINT: You can drag the banner ad to the bottom of the screen so the start bar covers it up so it won't get in the way of browsing! Enjoy your free internet with no downsides.
Engineer: Can we fix it? Yes we can! With sufficient time and the proper funding, some good hired hands and assuming the union doesn't go on strike AGAIN.
Engineer is a powerful character having not only a pistol but also a shotgun! His wrench can be used to repair things as well. He can build sentries that watch out for foes and fire at them but you need to watch them since they sometimes malfunction and explode for no reason. You should stand directly between the turret and any foes so that they don't shoot it and blow it up. you can also build teleporters to swiftly go between you sentries and the spawn rooms for more metal to upgrade your sentry. he can also build a dispenser that gives you more metal and ammunition while you are storming the enemy base. blow it up shortly after so that no enemies find it and know you are there.
PRO HINT: Keep your back to the wall so you can't be backstabbed and always attack any nearby characters for fear they may be a disguise.
Bright Wizard: What if Gandalf was on FIRE?
the bright wizard is so similer to the sorcereress class that they are actually currently engaged in a lawsuit. use all the advice for socrceress but remember that you use fire instead of sorrow and darkness
PRO HINT: try shouting I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE sometimes it kind of feels good and maybe increases your chances of criticals.
Black Orc: A minority that is the majority
Black Orcs are like Choppas except they are actually in the game. Choppa is the second orc class but it was removed from the game because it was flat out inferior to black orcs in the basketball scenario.
As a black orc you are able to be hit really hard and take it like a man because you aren't no pussy-ass choppa!! defend your allies by hurling mean words at foes to make them hit you! they may not understand orcish but the intent follows the insult all the same!
PRO HINT: You can use two handed weapons or one handed weapon with a shield! shields can block gandalf attacks but they aren't as cool as a huge sword. pick the sword and rush at the nearest ironbreaker! if you die just curse at the no jaw noobs who didn't do a good enough job healing you! if they had just kept you alive you would've finished off the ironbreaker in time to move on to the 3 witch hunters attacking the healers with a sword that still has a sorcereress impaled on it. do i need to call the fucking waaaghmbulence? christ i can't play this game for you but I could if you'd give me your username and password.
Witch Hunter: Thanksgiving comes early! All Destruction are turkeys to him!
You really hate witches so you've devoted yourself to hunting them... NOT WITH WATER BUT WITH A GUN. You also have a sword bu thats just for emergencies. Stay back and just shoot everyone! its as easy as it sounds. also you can turn invisible and you dress like a pilgrim.
PRO HINT: Some people will tell you to get into melee and stab stuff but they are just afraid you will top the charts in the pvp scenario so they want you to get killed so they can be numero uno baby.
White Lion: Watched Lion King about 50 times but still prefers Kimba.
The White Lion is a brave feline warrior that proudly commands his elven comrade in battle to aid in his ferocious attacks. White Lions are EXTREMELY FAST able to pounce on a foe or dash after them at high speeds. or run away after annoying the shit out of someone. A perfect class for people who love to rip foes to shreds with a little help from a pet.
PRO HINT: Yiff in hell furfag.
Squig Herder: Hey Billie Bob betcha I can round up 25 zerglings before you can! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAWWWWW
a goblin who has devoted his life to the raising and breeding of squigs. at a young age they go on a quest across the world to capture and raise powerful squigs and now they have brought them to help in the war. You stand back from the battle with a bow in hand and a spear on your back. send one of many squigs into battle and support him! You may only send in one squig at a time because that is the squig herders code if you violate it you lose the respect of the squig herder community and so squigs above level 20 will sometimes not respond to commands. You can command a normal squig, a horned squig and a gassy squig. if you betray the squig herder code your squig might devour you but this is not the end of life! you can command your squig from inside and use him to armor and protect you from attacks!
PRO HINT: You can detonate a squig but beware as this will cost you a lifelong friend!
Marauder: Why don't you turn your arm into a penis and fuck yourself with it?
Oh my god! Its a maraud! i'm telling ya'll its sabotage at level 10 when you can sabotage siege cannons to make them explode if a player tries to use them. but most important Marauders can transform their arm into many deadly forms such as a claw, a sword, a club and even a human arm! each arm has unique skills such as the hammer arms ability to be swung like a wrecking ball to strike many nearby foes! unfortunetly the arm cannot be transformed into a friend which is something you will have in short supply seeing as how nobody plays marauders.
PRO HINT: When you join a pvp scenario be sure to let the group know you are a Marauder! They are in short supply and are VERY valuable to the team! It is amazing that nobody plays as such a cool class! Remember to use your hammer arm and fly into huge packs of Order players and unleash demolition and wrecking ball! if you die please remind people that you are a marauder and so maybe next time they should not allow such precious cargo to die.
Chosen: Pikachu! I Chosen you!!!!
I choose YOU to be chosen! chosen are huge armored knights capable of unleashing auras that weaken foes but strengthen allies! they can do many interresting things like increasing your toughness while making nearby foes frail! or making it so anyone who tried to cast a spell bites their tongue and takes massive damage!!! You can use a huge sword or a huger shield with a smaller sword! Make sure you CHOSEN WISELY.
PRO HINT: You may not kill as fast as Black Orc but atleast your dps class didn't ABANDON YOU because your a total douchebag!
NEXT UPDATE: Maybe I'll review more classes! But for sure I will discuss the PvP instances known as Scenarios! Its like Team Fortress 2 if it was an MMORPG!
