Advanced Search

Author Topic: I wrote a Full House fanfiction  (Read 25742 times)

May 16, 2010, 04:52:18 PM
Read 25742 times

Squishdiboo

  • Ringmaster

  • *

  • Ruiner

  • 8502
    Posts

  • sniff

    • View Profile
I wrote a Full House fanfiction
« on: May 16, 2010, 04:52:18 PM »
Michelle Tanner was only 13 years old but she was very mature for her age.  All the boys in school were interested in her.  They followed her everywhere she went, with hungry looks in their eyes.  And who could blame them? She was the most amazing girl they'd ever seen.

Her sisters Stephanie and D.J. were jealous.  The boys never gave them the sort of attention she got.  But what should they expect? They were old and married.  No man would ever want them.

One day Michelle was invited to a boy/girl party. She was super excited.  Her father, Danny Tanner, was hesitant about letting his little girl go to this party, he'd heard of the awful things that boys and girls did whilst they were together in the same room.  Michelle convinced him that these were just rumors, and promised she wouldn't do anything naughty while she was there.  Danny loved his youngest girl and so he allowed her to attend this super cool party.

At  the party Michelle met a boy.  His name was  Jimmy Stewart.  He was so handsome.  He winked at her and led her to the bathroom, where they had sex.  It was okay.  Michelle was reasonably satisfied and she went home.

A month later, Michelle missed her period.  "Oh god I'm pregnant!" she cried out, forgetting that she'd never had a period before.

She tried to call Jimmy Stewart but when she dialed his number Jimmy Stewart had given her.

"We're sorry, the person you are trying to call has been dead since 1997.  Please try again later."

"Oh my god, I had sex with a ghost and I am pregnant!" Michelle cried.  But there was nothing she could do.  So she went to tell her father.

Danny was sitting in the kitchen with his best friends Uncle Joey and Uncle Jesse.  They were eating muffins. 

"These muffins are so good." said Danny, "Did you make them, Joey?"

"Cut. It. Out, Danny you know I don't make muffins." Joey said, trying to be comedic.

"But if you did not make the muffins and I did not make the muffins, did Jesse make the muffins?" Danny wondered.

"Yes, it was I!" announced Jesse.  "I made the muffins out of my hair!"

"Oh my god we are eating hair muffins" Uncle Joey and Uncle Jesse and Uncle Danny cried, but they continued to eat them anyway.

"Um dad, I'm sorry to interrupt but I have something important to tell you." Michelle said, softly.

"What is it, my dear sweet Munchkin?" Uncle Jesse asked.

"Jesse I am dad not you!" Danny said and hit him over the head with his muffin fork.

"Not the hair!" Jesse cried out and ran into the bathroom to make sure it was alright.

"What is it, sweetheart?" Danny asked, eyeing Machelle appreciatively.

"Well um I'm sorry but I got pregnant by a ghost at a party last month." Michelle confessed.

"What! How could you do this to me?" Danny asked. "After all I did for you!"

"I'm sorry dad I didn't mean to it was an accident."

"Sorry nothing young lady you are grounded!"

"No please dad I have a party to go to tomorrow!" Michelle cried.

"No pleases about it I am very cross at you." said Danny.

Suddenly Michelle sneezed and the baby exploded out of her.

"Oh god I have had a baby!" Michelle cried and reached down to pick it up off the kitchen
floor.  "Wait a second, this baby is a hoagie! I gave birth to a hoagie?"

Steve's head popped in, "Did somebody say something about a hoagie?" he grinned.

"No Steve I have given birth to this sandwich you can't have it." Michelle protested.

"But Michelle, I am the father!" Steve shouted, "How can you deny my child the rights to spend time with his father!"

"But I thought Jimmy Stewart was the father?" Michelle was shocked.

"No it was me I had to disguise myself so D.J. wouldn't find out!" Steve was married to D.J.

"Oh that explains everything." Uncle Joey piped up.

"Oh no what is happening!" Michelle cried out in pain.  After a bit of pushing out came a plate of spaghetti and meatballs.

"Oh that is the afterbirth Michelle, that is what was keeping the baby alive inside of you." Aunt Becky informed her, having just returned from coaxing Uncle Jesse out of the bathroom.

"I feel kind of funny." Michelle said, and she fainted.

When Michelle woke up she was in a hospital.  "What's going on?" she asked.
"Hello Michelle I am doctor Moranis," said doctor Moranis, "We did a lot of tests on you and it turns out you are actually a vending machine."

"Oh no how can this be?" Michelle and Danny wailed.

Just then, Steve barged into the room.  "I just heard the news!" he cried and got down on one knee "Michelle will you marry me?" he asked her.

"But you are married to D.J!" she was shocked.

"We got a divorce five minutes ago! I cannot stand to live without you Michelle I love you!" Steve said.

Michelle cried, but these were tears of joy. 

Steve and Michelle got married the next day and D.J. joined a convent.  Danny and Joey realized they were in love all along and spent their honeymoon at Disney World.  Uncle Jesse's hair fell out. Everyone lived happily ever after.  The End.



no bad comments please all bad comments will be deleted
« Last Edit: May 16, 2010, 04:58:28 PM by Totally Squishdiboo »

May 16, 2010, 06:35:06 PM
Reply #1

Vexiss

  • Should go on a ring diet

  • *

  • 4035
    Posts

  • RIP Lucky

    • View Profile
Re: I wrote a Full House fanfiction
« Reply #1 on: May 16, 2010, 06:35:06 PM »
I read it

thats all i have to say

May 16, 2010, 08:42:38 PM
Reply #2

Squishdiboo

  • Ringmaster

  • *

  • Ruiner

  • 8502
    Posts

  • sniff

    • View Profile
Re: I wrote a Full House fanfiction
« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2010, 08:42:38 PM »
True genius is often beyond the comprehension of mere mortals.

May 16, 2010, 10:13:31 PM
Reply #3

Vexiss

  • Should go on a ring diet

  • *

  • 4035
    Posts

  • RIP Lucky

    • View Profile
Re: I wrote a Full House fanfiction
« Reply #3 on: May 16, 2010, 10:13:31 PM »
Ha ha

I just read the title correctly

It is a Full House fic

NOT a full (as in complete) House fic

I kept wondering when House was gonna come set shit straight

May 20, 2010, 09:14:29 AM
Reply #4

Jessica HawlSera

  • Ring connoisseur

  • *

  • Scribe Of Metamor

  • 1860
    Posts

  • Eye Can See you!

    • View Profile
    • The Shifti, Home Of The TSA
Re: I wrote a Full House fanfiction
« Reply #4 on: May 20, 2010, 09:14:29 AM »
A vending machine... ahaha.. hahaha... I believe your story has made me constipated.
- This is sure to end in hijinks!
(I'm watching you, I'm always watching you. -)

May 20, 2010, 09:30:23 AM
Reply #5

Shinmera

  • 3 ring meals a day

  • *

  • un-FUCKING believable!

  • 659
    Posts

    • View Profile
    • tymoon.eu
Re: I wrote a Full House fanfiction
« Reply #5 on: May 20, 2010, 09:30:23 AM »
tl;dr

May 20, 2010, 09:51:58 PM
Reply #6

Your Pure Sexcellence

  • Ring connoisseur

  • *

  • Smiley Face G

  • 1878
    Posts

  • ⌐_⌐

    • View Profile
Re: I wrote a Full House fanfiction
« Reply #6 on: May 20, 2010, 09:51:58 PM »
Good read.  GOOD.  READ.  *applauds*
The Golden Guy was upper case, the Golden Guy was in first place
The Golden Guy was holding all the aces
The Golden Guy was in the news, the Golden Guy was blue suede shoes
The Golden Guy was secret rendezvous
The Golden Guy was samurai, the Golden Guy was legal high
The Golden eyes was infinitely white
The Golden Guy was French champagne, the Golden Guy was summer rain
The Golden Guy invented the fast lane
The Golden Guy was easy street sitting in the catbird's seat
The Golden Guy was melt-in-your-mouth meat
The Golden Guy could cast a spell, the Golden Guy was wedding bells
The Golden Guy had a voice like Elvis

June 22, 2010, 08:43:55 AM
Reply #7

Ruby Catbot

  • Fluff Muncher

  • *

  • 2169
    Posts

  • cat-brained androbot of justice

    • View Profile
    • Wrensource
Re: I wrote a Full House fanfiction
« Reply #7 on: June 22, 2010, 08:43:55 AM »
A perfect work of imagination.
but the Whimsicott looked so cute, I had to shave it

June 28, 2010, 11:11:57 AM
Reply #8

H Hog

  • Administrator

  • ****

  • can't enjoy his sandwich

  • 3821
    Posts

  • hwa~owh!

    • View Profile
    • Coldflame
Re: I wrote a Full House fanfiction
« Reply #8 on: June 28, 2010, 11:11:57 AM »
I... wh.... that is amazeballs

Xbox Live: H Hoguera  --  NNID: HHoguera  --  PSN: H_Hoguera

January 12, 2014, 08:02:41 AM
Reply #9

Myst

  • Should go on a ring diet

  • *

  • 4306
    Posts

    • View Profile
Re: I wrote a Full House fanfiction
« Reply #9 on: January 12, 2014, 08:02:41 AM »
I noticed this on the forum a few years back, but never bothered to read it until now.

I liked it. I quietly snickered while reading it.

Well, less of a snicker, more of a quiet "Heh."

*applauds*

January 12, 2014, 08:06:35 AM
Reply #10

Squishdiboo

  • Ringmaster

  • *

  • Ruiner

  • 8502
    Posts

  • sniff

    • View Profile
Re: I wrote a Full House fanfiction
« Reply #10 on: January 12, 2014, 08:06:35 AM »
It is my most under appreciated work of genius, thank you.

January 21, 2014, 09:08:53 PM
Reply #11

Vexiss

  • Should go on a ring diet

  • *

  • 4035
    Posts

  • RIP Lucky

    • View Profile
Re: I wrote a Full House fanfiction
« Reply #11 on: January 21, 2014, 09:08:53 PM »
I noticed this on the forum a few years back,
time flies