Yoshi's Epic Yarn

[Josie]

What the fuck is this shit, Nintendo?  Seriously?  Seriously??

Look, I understand wanted to make a new Yarn game.  The first game was pretty alright, if a bit easy. But, of course, easy was kind of the point, wasn't it?  So, I get it.  Making a new one makes a lot of sense, and I'm glad to see it.

But what the fuck is Yoshi doing there?

Like, I understand why Kirby was in the first one.  Prince Fluff's Epic Yarn or whatever it woulda been called when he was the main protag wouldn't have the selling power of an established franchise.  I get that.  So you shoved Kirby in there during the last third of development, totally ignoring for the moment that the yarn whip thing and the changing into other stuff and the throwing enemies are all evocative of Yoshi's Island, while the art itself is somewhat reminiscent of Yoshi's Story.  Okay, whatever, so we got Kirby's Epic Yarn.

So now we get a new one.  Now we get one that could sell on the strength of the Epic Yarn name alone, and could elevate Prince Fluff into his own actual series, which might help Nintendo shut up some of their detractors.

So they make it into a Yoshi game.


Just... why.  Why?  Why, Nintendo?  I would have accepted this as the first game, but now that you've established Prince Fluff as a character (as a character within the Kirby universe, no less), the decision seems weird and arbitrary and kinda dumb.

[Keith Stack]

Oh shit, Joshi tellin' it like it is.

[Sz]

Not to be too much of a smartass... But, "why?"

Perhaps because Nintendo doesn't care about their detractors, they care about making money?

(you can, BTW, substitute pretty much every company in every industry into that sentence)

[AJ]

At ... At least it isn't Yoshi's Island DS 2? Cause man... YIDS was so disappointing.

[Zodberg]

Pikachu's epic yarn

[James]

Fits more with Yoshi than it does with Kirby. Need I remind you of how much like a patchwork piece the setting of Yoshi's Story looked?

[▲ndrusi]

Next we can look forward to Star Fox Epic Yarn

[BlazeHedgehog]

Yoshi's been dead to me ever since Yoshi Story.

[Zodberg]

Ron Paul's Epic Yarn

[Josie]

Next we can look forward to Star Fox Epic Yarn

I would be weirdly okay with this.

Like, if they want to establish the Epic Yarn brand as some sort of series hopping meta-franchise, then that would be weird and surprising but also it would make this make sense.

[▲ndrusi]

Though I'm not sure I want to play Metroid Epic Yarn.  That just seems weird.

[Piers]

Oh shit you mean Tezuka is making this with the Epic Yarn team?
Better brush up my skills on Dark Souls before this is out.

[Fadflamer]

Oh god, I thought this was a joke thread, and then I googled it.

I guess I'm not missing much by not following video game news.

[AJ]

Well, there's also ANOTHER Yoshi game, which will actually be a real Yoshi game coming out too.

[Josie]

Yeah, too bad it looks Actually Hideous and appears to be using terrible out of place Yoshi's Story sound effects again.

gameplay might be good, though!

[Jessica HawlSera]

I don't get why they re-released Donkey Kong Country Returns (Okay SOME people liked it, but without Tag-Teaming or Kremlings you can't call it Donkey Kong Country) or why they'd EVER want to reference Epic Yarn again.

I thought it was only Sega that had the habit of what I like to call "Failure Celebration"

It pissed me off to know end when Sega referenced Sonic Heroes in a few games to the point of DARING to lump that 9/11 of Platformer Games with the Dreamcast Era, a lost Golden Age of Gaming. Or how Silver was in a bunch of games after Sonic 06 as if Sega had shoved their heads right up their ass and kept pretending that Silver was a good character and in no way a shit stain on the Golden Statue of Blaze The Cat.

Why would they EVER want to acknowledge the existence of Kirby's Epic Yarn when it's just further proof that their habit of yelling "THIS WILL NEVER MAKE A GOOD NEW IP, PUT IN OUR CHARACTERS IN UNFITTING SCENARIOS!" (See Star Fox Adventures) is a horrible one. Maybe I'd be cool if they made an Epic Yarn 2 that didn't have Kirby in it like Ubisoft eventually made Rabids Games without the Rayman name and made the awesome Rayman Origins/Legends series.


I swear if Sonic:The Lost World and Remothered weren't things I wouldn't bother with the Wii-U.... Actually there's another thing. Why did they call the console "Wii-U", given that it's universally accepted that the Wii is a giant middle finger to Nintendo's fanbase and seen more as a toy than an actual gaming console... why wouldn't they drop "Wii" from the name?

At this rate I wouldn't be surprised if Nintendo had the gall to put "Other M Samus" in the new Smash Bros. (Then again since Japan's difference in Gender Roles lead to them actually liking that portrayal and Nintendo has always been a fan of shitting on its Western Fans... that would be no surprise)

All this said, I liked Yoshi's Story a lot as a child and Yoshi's Epic Yarn looks friggin awesome! I'll just tell myself it's Yoshi's Story 2, because I refuse to buy anything with "Nintendo Character Name Here"'s Epic Yarn on the cover.