I saw it Thursday. I was one of maybe eight people in the theater.
It does blow. But nowhere near as bad as I would've thought.
[Spoiler]
- Splinter and the turtles are lab experiments by the Foot to create an antidote for a gas they were planning to disperse over the city.
-April's dad catches wind, destroys the lab and April saves Splinter and the turtles.
-The mutagen starts working. Splinter finds a "How to Ninja" book in the sewer and teaches the turtles after he learns himself.
-The foot clan only fire guns wildly, they're basically just terrorists and could be called anything because there is nothing ninja about them.
-You never see Shredder's real face.
-Shredder says, "Tonight, I dine on turtle soup." before donning the armor.
-Mikey hits on April constantly. Penis jokes occur.
-April is a moron. She spends the beginning of the movie trying to convince people the vigilantes attacking the Foot are turtles like people will not throw her into a psych ward for doing so.
-Instead of Casey Jones, we get a guy twice Megan Fox's age whose only purpose is to ogle Megan Fox and freak out about turtles.
-The Shredder armor is slightly less ridiculous in motion than in pictures, but still overdone. The Shredder barely does anything except fight Splinter and the turtles and bitch at people off camera.
[/spoiler]
Granted, Ninja Turtles isn't fine art but just stick with the original movie. If you feel like seeing it, go see Guardians of the Galaxy and sneak into Ninja Turtles after.
